Ignorance is Bliss
by aumontalc
Summary: Stephanie notices that what Jackson and April have going on isn't close to being over. Starts in season 9.


"So I've been on Kepner's service the past few days and the funniest thing happened," Stephanie told Jackson as they got dressed.

"Yeah, what happened?" asked Jackson, bending over to tie his shoes.

"This paramedic guy comes over and asks her out to coffee. He was so awkward and cute about it." Imitating her best man voice, she said, "I've been watching you for two days and I thought you could use a break. Maybe get some coffee. The whole time Kepner is just looking at him. Then he says, Probably shouldn't have started by saying I've been watching you. Now, you think I'm a creeper. I'm not. Unless you're inclined to have coffee with creepers. Then, I totally creep. Like all the time. He was so funny and really tall. They are going to be so adorable together."

Jackson looked over his shoulder at Stephanie. "Did she agree to have coffee with him?" he asked.

"Yeah, how could she say no? You know I never used to think much of Kepner but after working with her I have a newfound appreciation for her. The pit isn't as easy as it looks."

"Well, I've got to go..."

"Are you sure? I actually have more time if you want to go another round," Stephanie said, toying with the hem of his scrub top.

"As much fun as that sounds, I have a pre-op that I need to get to," he said somewhat sharply.

Stephanie watched his back as he left the on call room, wondering at his sudden change in mood.

* * *

"And then he was like, 'I totally creep. Like all the time."

The other interns chuckled as they got ready for rounds the next morning. Stephanie had just finished telling them the story of April being asked out by the paramedic.

"Guess you don't have to worry about Kepner hitting on you anymore Shane. She's got a new man now," Stephanie teased.

Jo looked over in Stephanie's direction. "You know that's not why she went to the wedding with Shane, right? I mean you're dating Dr. Avery. He must have told you."

Stephanie had a sneaking suspicion she wasn't going to like the answer to her question but she went ahead and asked anyway. "What do you mean?"

Jo looked at her unbelievingly, "You really don't know?"

By now, Stephanie was quite frustrated. "Know what?"

"About Avery and Kepner"

Stephanie stopped tying her scrub pants, her hand frozen, holding a loop. "What?" she asked. "Dr. Kepner and Jackson are just friends, good friends like Shane and me."

"More like friends with benefits."

"No way," Shane said. "Kepner seems like the relationship type. That doesn't seem like something she would do."

"Apparently, she did. With Dr. Avery. A lot. In the on call room. In the attendings lounge. In supply closets. Alex said he couldn't count the number of times he walked in on them."

Stephanie listened in disbelief as the other interns picked apart Kepner and Jackson's relationship. She heard Leah ask, "Why'd they stop? What happened?"

Jo shrugged. "I'm not completely sure. Alex mentioned something about a pregnancy scare."

"Stephanie, are you OK?' asked Shane. "You look a little out of sorts."

I feel a little out of sorts, she thought. Shaking her head, she said, "I'm fine. I just didn't know they were together. You're right Jo. You'd think he'd mention something like that."

The female interns shot her looks of pity. Not wanting or needing their pity, she grabbed her lab coat and walked down the hall in search of Jackson.

"What am I to you?" she asked Jackson once she had him alone in the stairwell.

"Ummm, I'm not sure what kind of answer you're looking for."

"I mean is this going anywhere serious?"

Jackson looked down at the ground not giving an immediate answer. After a few more seconds, he glanced at her and said, "We're having fun. Why don't we just see where this goes? Were you wanting this to be serious?"

"No. I mean I like you, but I'm an intern. I don't really have time for a relationship."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"The other interns were talking about you and Kepner."

A dark expression shadowed Jackson's face. "Yeah, I thought you had heard about that."

Stephanie scoffed. "Well, I hadn't. Not until today at least. It doesn't really bother me but I didn't really care to hear about it for the first time from my coworkers. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't really like to talk about April."

Stephanie pressed her hand against his chest, rubbing gently. "Jo said you guys had a pregnancy scare?"

Jackson shook his head and stepped away from her. "I don't...I can't...I'm not going to talk about this with you. You want to know the truth? No, I'm not looking for anything serious. I had serious and complicated with April. I had enough of that to last me three lifetimes. So if you're wanting some sort of long-term relationship, I can't promise that. I just want to have something uncomplicated and fun. I was having a good time with you. I'd like to continue what we've got going, but if you can't, I understand."

Basically, he was saying he wanted a no-strings attachment. Pushing her pride to the side, she grabbed his hand. "Nope. Status quo is good for me. Now, let's go have a good time in the on call room," she said with a wink.

* * *

"Karev is so going to win this Edwards," Jo Wilson told Stephanie.

"We'll see. Today's the day of the interviews. Although Karev's hasn't done a bad job of cleaning himself up, have you seen Jackson in that suit? Who knew he could rock a purple tie like that? Not many men can."

Jo stuck her tongue out at Stephanie. "Like you said, we'll see."

Laughing Stephanie patted her friend on the shoulder, "Well, I've got to go find Jackson and give him a little pep talk before he goes into the interview."

Stephanie rounded the corner and found Jackson and Dr. Kepner in one of the computer rooms consulting over a surgery. She was hesitant to enter and decided to wait until Kepner left before talking to Jackson. After finding out about their past history, she wasn't exactly comfortable being around them both at the same time.

"Jackson, isn't it about time for your interview?" Kepner asked.

"Yeah," Jackson replied, his eyes glued to the computer as he typed.

"I just wanted to say good luck." Kepner's eyes went to his tie. "Umm, your tie's a little crooked."

Standing up, Jackson closed the distance between them. "Would you mind fixing it for me?"

"Sure." Kepner's hands began to slowly unknot the tie. Jackson seemed hypnotized by her slow motions. "So, how are you going to convince them that you deserve to be the new ambassador for the hospital?"

"Well, I'm an Avery..."

Kepner took a step back, looking at him incredulously. "Really? That's your game plan going into this?"

"What do you suggest I say, April?"

"I don't know. You could start with your patients, the ones that meant something to you. Talk about your work in the burn center, how that has greatly impacted so many lives. You could even tell them how great a doctor you are because of how well you were trained here by your mentor."

Jackson looked sheepishly down at the ground. "Those are some good points." After a second, he grinned. "You know if Sloan were still around there'd be no question of who would be the new face of the hospital. He'd get it in a heartbeat...I miss him sometimes."

One of Kepner's hands slid up to his cheek, caressing him lightly. She whispered something to him that Stephanie couldn't quite make out. Whatever she said seemed to comfort him.

Kepner's hand left his cheek and went back to the task of tying his knot. As she slid the knot upward, Jackson asked, "Do you remember the last time I wore this tie?"

A deep flush spread across Kepner's cheekbones. Biting her lip, she replied, "How could I forget?"

"I still think about that day sometimes."

"Me too," Kepner admitted shyly.

"You were so sexy that day. The way you looked, the things you were saying to me, how you couldn't take your eyes off me..."

"Jackson, we can't do this. You're with Stephanie. I'm starting to see Matt. This is all very inappropriate," Kepner admonished, letting go of his tie and taking a step back.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Thanks for helping me with my tie."

"No problem."

As Jackson started to walk away, Kepner called out, "Wait."

Pivoting, he turned back towards her. "Good luck," she said. "Remember you're more than just a handsome face and the grandson of Harper Avery. You're Jackson Avery, an amazing plastic surgeon and a great friend."

"You mean that? We're friends?"

Kepner nodded. "Yeah, now go kick some tail in there."

Jackson turned back on his way to the conference room, a silly grin plastered on his face.

Stephanie shrugged her shoulders and sighed. Guess he wouldn't be needing a pep talk from her.

* * *

"Did you hear about what Kepner did yesterday?" Heather asked.

Stephanie found a table near the back of the cafeteria. Setting down her tray, she looked up at her friend. "No, what happened?"

Shane chuckled as he put his tray next to hers and sat down. "I heard about that. I can't believe she did that."

"Totally doesn't sound like something she would do. She's always so prim and proper," Jo said, taking a big bite out of her hamburger.

"What did she do?" Stephanie interrupted, getting irritated by her friends.

"Well, you know the bus explosion yesterday?" Heather asked before crunching into her carrot.

The one that almost killed her boyfriend? Yeah, she knew about the bus explosion.

"Yes..." Stephanie prompted.

"Apparently Kepner made a run for it. Her fiancé had to literally hold her back."

"And I heard that while Dr. Torres was wrapping up Dr. Avery's burns she went all psycho on him. They said she charged at him and was hitting him on the chest."

"I heard she tried to choke him."

"I'm sure a lot of that's exaggerated," Stephanie said. "I wouldn't believe all of it."

"My question is why run towards the bus? What good would that do?" Shane asked.

"Everyone knows that she and Dr. Avery used to be a thing. I guess she's not quite over him yet," Leah replied.

Stephanie felt a vibration on her hip. Looking up, she saw the other interns gazing at their beepers.

"It's Bailey. We better go."

* * *

Stephanie was exhausted. Dealing with back to back traumas for the last 8 hours, she was in serious need of a nap. With all the on call rooms full, she finally settled on an empty hospital room. Drawing the curtain around the bed, she slipped off her shoes and laid down.

She woke to the sound of muffled voices. Propping up on her elbows, she began to inform the other occupants that there someone else was in the room, but recognition made her pause. That was Jackson's voice...and Kepner's. She knew she shouldn't listen, but she just couldn't seem to help herself.

"I...I broke things off with Matthew."

This confession startled Stephanie. Why would Dr. Kepner break things off with her fiancé? They were so cute together and his proposal had been so sweet. They were like the perfect couple.

"April, why are you telling me this?"

"I thought you should know."

"You shouldn't have done that. He's perfect for you. He believes what you believe. He seems like a good guy. Like he'd give you everything you wanted. The wedding in a field with flowers and butterflies, a house, kids..."

"He couldn't give me everything I wanted. He's not you."

"April..."

For the longest time, Stephanie didn't hear a sound. Wanting to know what was going on, she leaned back and peeked past the curtain. Neither moved, neither spoke. Yet there was an intensity, an electric charge in the air.

Stephanie watched as April made a move towards Jackson. His hands flew up, as if he were trying to defend himself, and he stepped backwards. "Don't," he said. "We can't do this. I'm with Stephanie. I've moved on."

"Have you really?" Kepner asked, a disbelieving look in her eye.

Jackson's back was to her so she couldn't see his face, but Stephanie was pleased when she heard him say, "I have. I'm trying to make things work with Stephanie."

Tears welled in the other woman's eyes. "OK, um, I'm sorry I dumped all of this on you. I won't bother you anymore."

"April, we can still be friends."

April gave a shrill laugh. "Friends? Friends? I poured out my heart and soul to you last night. Told you I loved you that I wanted to be with you and you think we can just be friends? I humiliated myself. How am I supposed to get past that?"

"It doesn't matter. We'll just pretend you never said anything."

"Well, I can't. I'm sorry but it's either all or nothing for me."

Opening the door, April scurried out, leaving Jackson alone. A string of expletives flew from Jackson's lips as he repeatedly kicked the trash can. After what seemed like an eternity to Stephanie, Jackson finally calmed down and exited the room.

Stephanie struggled to take a breath. What was that? She had seen Jackson irritated before but never angry. The Jackson she knew was calm and controlled with a slightly sarcastic that never took a situation too seriously. His display of anger was totally out of the blue. Why had he reacted that way?

* * *

Stephanie half heartedly watched Project Runway as Jackson grilled their dinner outside. Her mind still on the conversation she had overheard. April had admitted her feelings for Jackson while he'd denied having any feelings for her. But that still didn't explain why he was so angry after she left.

She knew there had been something between the two of them in the past, but over the last few months she thought it had fizzled out. Kepner had found the paramedic and had seemed genuinely happy with him.

She and Jackson had grown closer or at least she had grown closer to Jackson. What had started as a fun way to blow off some steam and the stress of being an intern had quickly turned into real feelings. She had gone from being the confident woman who had an infinite amount of self control when it came to the opposite sex to an adolescent-minded girl whenever she was around Jackson. He wreaked havoc on her emotions. She could barely stand to be away from him. The 11 days when she hadn't heard from him had been excruciating. She wasn't proud of the person she was when she was around Jackson and only occasionally caught glimpses of her former self, but what could she do? She was in love.

* * *

"Dinner was great. Thanks for cooking," Stephanie said.

"Yeah, no problem." Jackson replied, picking up their plates off the table.

Standing up, Stephanie quickly caught up with him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Why don't we leave the dishes for tomorrow and go into the bedroom?" she whispered, kissing his shoulder.

Grasping her hand, Jackson maneuvered away from her. "I don't want to leave a mess for tomorrow, but you don't have to stay while I clean. You can go home if you want."

Stephanie grimaced. She didn't like what he was hinting at. Well, she wouldn't feel any better unless she got it off her chest. "Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Jackson glanced in her direction. "Sure, what's going on?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Why don't you tell me? What is going on between you and Dr. Kepner?"

* * *

Stephanie watched as Jackson paced the hardwood floor. His expression a bit on the menacing side. "I don't know what you're talking about," he growled.

Stephanie's temper rose at his blatant lie. "Really?" she said, her voice louder than usual. "You can't fathom what in the world I could possibly be talking about?"

"Come on Stephanie. Let's not ruin our evening. I told you before that April and I were a thing, but we're not anymore. You and I are together. That's all that matters."

Stephanie shrugged off the arm that Jackson had attempted to wrap around her. He would not put the moves on her and expect her to just forget all about this. Not this time. They had some serious stuff to talk about.

"Unfortunately it's not. We can't be in a relationship together if you still have feelings for another woman."

Jackson laughed and looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't have feelings for another woman."

How Stephanie wished that were true, but after what she overheard today she had some serious doubts. She'd spent all day obsessing over it, trying to find proof that her suspicions were wrong. But the evidence was stacked against her. All it did was make the case that Jackson was just as much in love with April as April was with him.

Stephanie loathed admitting defeat. It was completely against her nature. It was a major reason why she thrived as an intern But the odds just weren't in her favor this time.

"You love Dr. Kepner. I get it. You can't help it. You're trying to move on but you just can't. I feel the same way about you. I know we have no future but I want you, so I stay."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not in love with April!" he shouted.

Stephanie shook her head. "You don't even see it do you? It's so obvious."

"I'm in a relationship with you. Only you. I have never cheated on you."

"I believe you. You haven't cheated physically, but your heart was never mine."

"What are you talking about?" Jackson's eyes looked quizzingly into hers.

"I mean one of the first memories I have of you is your conversation with Dr. Kepner during surgery about pretending things never happened. It didn't make a whole lot of sense at the time, but now I understand you must have been talking about your relationship. You were really hurt and pissed."

"That was ages ago," Jackson protested.

"And how did we get together? Who set us up? Dr. Kepner again. I remember at first you didn't even want to go with me. It was Dr. Kepner who had to convince you. It's only now that I understand why. You went with me so you wouldn't be tempted to hook up with her. Don't even try to deny it."

"That's beside the point. What matters is that we're together now."

"And then after we started dating you get one call from her. One call that she needed help. You go and risk your career to reopen the ER. For her."

"It was the right thing to do. I would have done that for anybody."

"Funny," Stephanie said, shaking her head. "I haven't seen you do that for anyone else. I haven't seen you go out of your way to help Dr. Yang or Dr. Grey or even Dr. Karev. Just Dr. Kepner. You drop everything for her. Any time. Any where. Any place. Think about how many surgeries you've scrubbed in with her in the last two months alone. It's a lot isn't it?"

"She's my friend. Of course, I'm going to do surgeries with her when I can."

"And what about your mom?"

"What about my mom?"

"How come I've never officially met her?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. She's kind of intense. I'm not sure you could handle her right now."

Gritting her teeth, Stephanie continued. "Well, Kepner seems to handle her just fine."

"Stephanie, that's different. My mom knows April. We've been friends for ages. It would be weird if my mom didn't know her. If it makes you feel any better, April wouldn't let me tell my mom about our relationship. She was always paranoid that she'd find out. That's how scary my mom is."

No, what he'd said didn't make her feel any better. It only confirmed that the feelings Jackson had for the other woman were much stronger than anything he'd felt for her. And that Dr. Kepner kind of had him whipped.

"And the cherry on the top. The piece of snot on top of this crapfest we call a relationship. The 11 days we went without seeing each other. Remember that? Let me ask you something. Did that ever happen when you were with Kepner? Could you ever go that long without seeing her? Without being near her? Without hearing her voice?"

At Stephanie's last statement, Jackson grew very quiet. He didn't have a come back this time.

Stephanie laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, I already know the answer. You couldn't. And you still can't because you love her."

Jackson looked up at her, his eyes haunted. "You're right," he admitted. "I do love her."


End file.
